Merisik and Bertunang

    I find the process of getting married in the Malay culture very different then what I am used to and very interesting. My host sister is getting married soon and this weekend was her engagement.  Merisik, the asking session, is when a relative of the boy will go and inspect and seek approval of the girl. They will present the girl with a ring which is a gesture for seeking approval. By accepting the ring, one accepts the proposal. Returning the ring means the girl refuses.
    The engagement is called the bertunang which can be done separately from the merisik, but for sake of time can be done together. The merisik is the asking part. After the bride's family has agreed, a date will be set up for the engagement and dowry's will be discussed. The bertunang is the actual engagement where the ring will be given and gifts exchanged. Now a days it is common for these two to be done together, which is exactly what our family's decided to do.
    This weekend we had both the merisik and the bertunang together. What happened was that the groom brought a group of women in his family to give our family gifts. They were gifts such as sweets, fruits, perfume, and even a baju kurung. Then the future bride had a group of girls from her famlily give the future groom's family gifts, but the girls side gave two more gifts then what the boys side gave. Usually the number of gifts is an odd number.

     Then the girl came out and sat in the center of everyone's attention. Then the boys family stated their intentions and our side accepted. Then the mother of the future groom put the rings on the girls finger. It was two rings. One was the merisik or asking ring. The other was the engagement ring which is more expensive then the asking ring. My sister was very lucky, she received two beautiful rings in one night.

   After the engagement or bertunang is the solemnization or the akad nikah which is when they will officially be husband and wife. The akad nikah is the most important. It is where the man has to give his words to the witness and a ring to complete the akad nikah. This can be done either in a mosque or at home. This is the only Islamic required ritual. It will be done by qualified and registered kadhi who will declare the couple husband and wife. Then will be the reception. This can be done days or weeks apart or on the same day. It is optional, but it is tradition for the family to invite friends and families and even neighbors to share their joy that the couple is now legally married. The reception can have up to thousands of guest. It all depends on their budget though.

Gifts from the girls side

Gifts from the boys side

Chocolates

Victoria Secret 

Baju Kurung

The cute couple :)

The theme was grey and white 

All my host siblings

The beautiful bride to be (My lovely host sister)

Hari Raya Haji

     Haria Raya Haji is the celebration where Muslims sacrifice an animal, usually a goat or a cow commemorating Abraham's sacrifice. When Abraham was tested by God to give up his only son he listened to God and was about to sacrifice his only beloved son. God saw that Abraham's devotion to Him was so great and this pleased Him so He called out to Abraham to spare his son, Ishmael and instead Abraham sacrificed a ram.
    This is a public holiday here in Malaysia and in many parts of the world as well. There is no school and many people have a day off or even a week. Muslims will wake up very early to offer their prayers and then dress up in their best clothes. This is a very big celebration and families will get together and usually there are fireworks at the end of the day as well.
    Thankfully I was spared and didn't have to see any animals sacrificed because my family went to the beach in Mersing for this day. On our way to the beach however, I did see a group of people crowded around on the side of the street with what appeared to be a cow tied up ready to be sacrificed. I'm glad that instead of watching an animal get slaughtered right before my eyes, I was able to see the beautiful sun rise at the beach, join in family activities, and even ride a banana boat for the first time in my life.

Perfect spot to relax 

Bibik (left) our maid 

My host sister wawa with baby

Sunrise 

Where we stayed for three days and two nights

Weekend Fun!

It's been a while since I have updated my blog so here is what I did these past couple of weekends.
I attended my first Malay wedding. It was very beautiful and very big. It was in a huge place with tons of table for guests. It's very different from any wedding that I have ever been to. Here are some pictures. 

The bride and groom are treated like royalty

So pretty :)

Dim Sum with the family before the wedding

This weekend my family went to KL to prepare for my host sister's own wedding that is coming up very soon. We stayed the night and while we were there I saw many things that made me fall in love with the city even more. 

Such a beautiful flower, but the thorns look scary

Kampung Style Restaurant 

Yummy dessert! :)

Cruising the streets of KL at night

My little sister enjoying the scenery

Each unit in this building has it's own swimming pool! So awesome

I love the architecture in KL!

Bagpipe Player at the Curve :)